Not Gnat

An ash
From the former shitter's match
Masked itself as a gnat
Floating down down
Near my fingers
On the magazine's corner
I swatted at it
Still it floated
Around my hands
Intent on landing
Finally I opened my hand
It found me gazing
Upon it
Shaped like an embryo
Smeared into a foggy imprint
On a thumb's fleshy base.

Billion Track Mind

I got too many tracks
running alongside one another
too close together
in my brain
they all move fast
too fast
ripping the hinges off
every car
barreling down
a mountain.

A Poet's Life

It is indeed one of adventure
This life
A poet's life
We marvel at experience
The tastes of life
But this world
In which we find ourselves
Vixen goddesses
Young bucks
We are
Caged like animals
In a zoo.

The Roses of Espana

When I see roses
I remember Espana
Dozens and dozens
Upon the bough
Tended by mother's hand
The moderate climate
Kissing the petals
Morning waters
Vaporizing slow, calm
Little aphids
Close inspection
Under farming ants
White imperfect picket fence
Acorns falling
Down the way
A breeze through my hair
Crabgrass underfoot
Spaniel/poodle mix
Wig-wagging her body
Very few clouds
In the boundless sky
Lemon-scented beauties
Alive in the garden
Gifts to my table
Feast for the senses.

Zen Zen Zen Zen

Here be I
On the phone
With podunks
Grating my frustration
Down on innocent teeth
While they peck peck peck
In seedless dirt
For witless explanations
Robbing my world
Of precious minutes
Stable blood pressure
Turning into magma
I cannot reach
Through the connection
To strangle the inept
Therefore I stew
Forgetting zen
Making myself unhealthy
I must remember the stars
On a still night
Breathing in clear air
Sweeping these feelings
Out of the mind's door
Returning to nothingness.

Eternity

Mother
I will always
Be able to draw up
Buckets upon buckets
Of salty water
From the well
Of pain
From losing you.

No, I don’t dare....

I don't dare think about how nice it would be to have my mom standing next to me when Jack gets out of school and how delighted she'd be at how funny and handsome he is...

I don't dare even imagine my mom coming to stay with us in the improvised guest room in the attic where I'd put fresh flowers in a vase for her, pictures of us all together laughing, laying out clean towels and a little chocolates for her to enjoy.

I don't dare imagine her glee while perusing gifts for her grandchildren and then having lunch with me and giggling over something inane or puzzling while we picked at each other's food.

I don't dare imagine what life would be like if she were in my life today and tomorrow because it's never going to be that way but sometimes, when I'm still in my bathrobe and have wet hair, I lie under my covers for warmth and the wishes creep in anyway.

There I am, curled up next to my purring cat, looking into her deep eyes and watching myself weep.